Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters (Romans 14:1).

I cannot tell you how much time I waste quarreling over disputable matters. When I was younger I mostly quarreled out loud, but with age I defer to my mind. Safer that way.

As a fresh staff member with Cru at Kansas State University, I remember wrangling over the pamphlet, 88 Reasons Why The Rapture Will Be In 1988. Then much longer disputes about the book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye (the author of which recently kissed his faith goodbye). Sometimes frustrated with students young in their walk with God, I crossed the line into quarreling more than once.

A few verses down the page Paul adds, Make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister (14:13).

My quibbles with the various evangelical fads ebbing in and out of our ministry helped a few people—some ideas fail biblical scrutiny—but other times made students feel silly, or even dumb. Treating a sincere young believer, who’s trying to figure out her faith in this crazy world, to “four reasons why the book you hold in your hand comes from the pit” is just the sort of obstacle Paul refers to.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten better over the years. More patient, quicker to listen and slower to speak. I’ve watched the Holy Spirit move people far beyond what I might have accomplished with my arguments and counterpoints.

I’m still up for a good book discussion—but I hope to keep it a discussion, not a roast.

Romans 14 in week twenty-three of reading the Bible cover to cover

Photo by Jamie Street