Ever get unwarranted advice? Or give it yourself? Most frustrating is receiving an earful from a person who’s not taken the time to listen and understand my problem. These folks dispense advice freely, whether it matches the situation or not. Mostly they like to hear themselves talk. Lest I come off as holier than thou, I recognize this quality in myself far too often.

Job endured a bevy of lousy counselors. Confident that Job committed some sort of heinous transgression, each offered up a lecture. The self-assured Eliphaz ended his soliloquy with this shot: We have examined this, and it is true. So hear it and apply it to yourself.

Another friend, Elihu, prefaced his comments like a general: Pay attention, Job, and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak. If you have anything to say, answer me; speak up, for I want to vindicate you. But if not, then listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom.

In other words, sit down and shut up. Parents of teenagers the world over know how this played out. Job shut his ears to their misguided wisdom.

Job was no rebellious teen, but rather a good man racked with pain and confusion. His friends sat with him in his suffering, a wonderful act. Then they opened their mouths and dribbled pablum.

How do I avoid the blunders of Job’s friends? What differentiates a wise counselor from a lousy one? Listening—pausing—and listening some more certainly helps. Pray for wisdom and ask the Holy Spirit to guide. Sometimes the best course is to say nothing. A good advisor helps a friend find their way, a nudge often more effective than a whack.

Lousy counselors sprout up like weeds in a garden—just a skip around the internet confirms this reality. So when you find a good one, cling to him or her like a treasure, for their friendship is more valuable than gold.

Job 5 & 33 in Through the Bible in 2024

Photo by Hans Isaacson